Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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