He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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