Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize