party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
