Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
