Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Jerry, you need to find god
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
