For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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