While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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