I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
50% drunk capacity currently
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Randomize
