after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
