i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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