I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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