Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
