Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Randomize
