Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
