U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
