it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Randomize