Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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