So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
