i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
You're completely useless in the revolution.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize