So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
