And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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