there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
