I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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