And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
