Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
