Well douche your snatch and let's go!
This girl is more easily done than said...
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Randomize
