So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Is Oprah even human
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
