Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
