And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
