after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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