i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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