I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
