i just had sex bonerless
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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