i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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