Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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