I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize