apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
