so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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