Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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