we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I need to align my fucking chakras
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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