Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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