I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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