As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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