i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
