Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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