Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
