As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
