I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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