I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
