maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
