How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
