So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
