No, drunk sperm still make babies.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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