Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
