The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize