Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
