Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Do vagina's smell?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
