I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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