So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
