If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
