Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
My ATM looks so different sober.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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