oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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