am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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