Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
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