i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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