I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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