What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
