Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Just cropdusted the office
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
