just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I need to calm my uterus...
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
